I’m opening an imaginary reading room, I’ve decided, just a cozy little place, lots of wood beams, wingback chairs, and soft lamplight. Absolutely NO TALKING, except in the tearoom, which serves High Tea or Coffee all day, with an all-you-can-eat cheesesteak, clotted cream and scones bar. (Take heart: we have two defibrillators on-site, and imaginary staff are all trained in CPR.) Remember to say “Hi” to Hercule, our dedicated french fry guy, who is most definitely not me, having once accidentally served still frozen fries to guests during a short-lived stint in expedited cuisine at a Palmdale Wendy’s drive-thru.
In our Imaginary Reading Room and Teahouse, LLC, writing is encouraged, but only with quill and ink (provided). No Laptops. This is as much for your benefit as mine: I learned how to type on a manual typewriter, and have been known to awaken sound asleep persons with my enthusiastic keystrokes. (“Are you typing with your fingers or with pistols, FFS…?!?”)
It’s loosely inspired by the Penngrove ‘Sitting Room’ (“a place of solace in a brash and busy world”) in Sonoma County, California, a private, volunteer-run library focused on the work of women writers, poets and artists.
“More of a salon than a library,” they have over 6,000 books, including graphic novels by women, and an extensive archive on women authors with both primary materials and more esoteric information. They host workshops and reading events, special exhibits, book clubs, field trips, and an annual publication.
Here is an article about them from 2016.
Every year they throw a Rebirthday Party, which just happens to be tomorrow, June 10. Happy Birthday to them! 🎂
Meanwhile, I’ve had an imaginary writing mentor for some years now, and highly recommend such an arrangement to everyone. When I’m having a particularly difficult time with a writing problem, we’ll sit down at the kitchen table and have a chat on paper that looks something like this:
TF: Mrs. —! How wonderful to see you! Please, come in, sit down. May I take your umbrella and your coat—my goodness, this is heavy! Do you have rocks in your pockets? Haha! Tea?
M-: Yes, please. Thank you, dear Troy. How bright your garden looks. Three lumps, if you don’t mind. Now tell me: what seems to be the problem?
…and I’ll launch in with whatever’s not working on my current writing project. She dispenses reams of good advice; sometimes I feel as though I’m actually channeling her from BEYOND, accessing a deep well of writing wisdom that isn’t always available in the thick of things.
I have a few “voices” I do this with, for various purposes and moods, also sometimes with my characters if I want to get to know them better and give them a freer rein, but she was my first.
I won’t tell you her name, but astute readers can almost certainly Guess Who. Here’s a hint:
Maybe an imaginary small press as well, whaddya think?
I’ve collected a fair few titles over the years, for books and stories I’ve thought about and jotted down but have yet to flesh out. Sometimes the initial brainstorm runs out of juice on further reflection, or doesn’t have quite the crackle you thought originally, half-asleep, texting yourself a dream or an idea that turns out to be utter nonsense. (“SARDINES!”) The best ones function as story prompts.
Here is a selection of forthcoming titles from Imaginary Books, an imprint of Imaginary Reading Room and Teahouse, LLC.
“ The Candle Who Proclaimed Himself Fire ”
“ The Pear-Shaped Boy ”
“ Male Replacement Theory ”
“ Licorice Tastes Like Cancer ”
“ Conversations with Plants ”
“ Sad Cake ”
“ Obvious, a Memoir ”
“ Ancient Aliens in Greece: Gods & Transponsters ”
“ Cybele: Showgirl, Librarian, Vulcanologist ”
“ Bogeymom ”
“ Happy Is a Strong Word ”
“ Low-Hanging Fruit ”
“ Starts with a ‘C’ ”
“ Monsters Are People Too ”
“ Yes Wire Hangers Always: Stories of a Hollywood Drycleaner ”
We are currently open to submissions.
Guidelines: Submit your title, of any length, in the Comments.
"The Adventures of Sir Sprinklebottom: A Fairy Knight's Tale" should definitey belong in the collection...
Hehe, v good as always Troy.
"Licorice Tastes Like Cancer". First olives. Now licquorice. What next?!
I'd like to read "Conversation with plants" please.