“She buttoned his sweater, zipped up his jacket, pulled his cap down over his ears, and kissed him many times on each cheek, on his nose and each eye, his dimples and his chin, with great, loud lip smackings. She kept on until he squealed with laughter and she was sure he was full of her love and happiness, and then sent him down.”
Troy, this is so vividly told I feel like I just watched a short film. Absolutely gut wrenching towards the end, and even more so to know that this is your friends story. It’s a gorgeous tribute to him, I’m so glad it became its own standalone piece & I’m most grateful to you for sharing it.
I know humour is the theme of our back and forth comments Troy, but in all seriousness - this was a great piece.
As the chapter progressed I felt more and more worried about Feo’s mother and what had/was gonna happen.
And I think the way you ended it with the lady down the hall taking Feo in while the Dad went into the house to check on the Mum was such a powerful and effective way to ‘show’ without ‘telling’.
This was beautiful way to honour your late friend.
A beautiful, aching homage to your friend. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this vulnerable, transporting chapter. It feels so instrumental, although it was cut.
Thanks so much for sharing this Troy, and especially for the background information on not only why this was cut but also the inspiration for it. I'm very sorry to hear about Alex.
As Chloe notes, I felt like I was watching a short story on film whilst reading this and I wanted it to continue! So very well executed.
I always enjoy and appreciate a look/thought behind the scenes of process and your reasoning makes sense why it was cut. Nevertheless, a) I'm glad you shared, and b) your synopsis of the tale and the limited 3rd PoV (I do so enjoy that restricted PoV in writing) makes me want to read WATRSPOUT all the more.
"Feodor"
I love this Troy! This passage especially:
“She buttoned his sweater, zipped up his jacket, pulled his cap down over his ears, and kissed him many times on each cheek, on his nose and each eye, his dimples and his chin, with great, loud lip smackings. She kept on until he squealed with laughter and she was sure he was full of her love and happiness, and then sent him down.”
Troy, this is so vividly told I feel like I just watched a short film. Absolutely gut wrenching towards the end, and even more so to know that this is your friends story. It’s a gorgeous tribute to him, I’m so glad it became its own standalone piece & I’m most grateful to you for sharing it.
Great story, Troy. Beautifully told from the perspective of a child who doesn't realize until the very end that his world is crashing down.
I know humour is the theme of our back and forth comments Troy, but in all seriousness - this was a great piece.
As the chapter progressed I felt more and more worried about Feo’s mother and what had/was gonna happen.
And I think the way you ended it with the lady down the hall taking Feo in while the Dad went into the house to check on the Mum was such a powerful and effective way to ‘show’ without ‘telling’.
This was beautiful way to honour your late friend.
A beautiful, aching homage to your friend. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this vulnerable, transporting chapter. It feels so instrumental, although it was cut.
Thanks so much for sharing this Troy, and especially for the background information on not only why this was cut but also the inspiration for it. I'm very sorry to hear about Alex.
As Chloe notes, I felt like I was watching a short story on film whilst reading this and I wanted it to continue! So very well executed.
I always enjoy and appreciate a look/thought behind the scenes of process and your reasoning makes sense why it was cut. Nevertheless, a) I'm glad you shared, and b) your synopsis of the tale and the limited 3rd PoV (I do so enjoy that restricted PoV in writing) makes me want to read WATRSPOUT all the more.
This makes me so sad for Feo! I wish I was his 'little brother' so I could comfort him.