I sooo enjoyed this story, Troy! You really know how to take us right into the scene. "his face a study in bafflement, hers a mask of seething rage" love this turning point.
You must have a ton of material from this part of your life!!
This. Is. Hilarious. Thank you, thank you. I so needed this and the only thing that would have made it better was if you were telling me in person over non-alcoholic cocktails. The potential mini-stroke..?! Her murderous rage?! 🤣 I’d hand over all my limbs to have been in that showroom, though I kind of feel like I was. You are brilliant, Troy. Thank you for sharing yourself 💜
Somehow, I got distracted by this line: "Many of the upholstered pieces were ruined, and for legal reasons, we could no longer sell pieces off the floor as “new” even though most of the casegoods—wood and metal cabinets, tables, etc.—dried out and suffered no apparent damage." I guess the thought that burrowed into my mind was how this suggests how lawyers have a grip on every aspect of our lives. They even get to define what's new and what's not.
My heartbeat got all fluttery reading this! Oh man those retail crushes can be intense. I’ve had a few and I both dreaded and lived for them. But never was a partner nearby to threaten with murder. If a mousy French woman ever shows up to your door unannounced, don’t open it!
I remember the first time a gay guy came on to me. (I was in a gay club back in the 80's so it was to be expected.) He just wouldn't leave me alone. It's not like he didn't know I was straight. I went with friends who told me they were taking me to the club, thinking they could get a reaction out of me. I said, whatever. But the guy was obviously fixated on me, and the only way I could get rid of him was to dance with him. So I did...and met a guy on the dance floor that I'd gone to school with. He said: I always suspected you might be one of us. I thought: What? Is everyone's gaydar broken? It was a great night!
Priceless -- "I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so close to being murdered in my life."...I wouldn't be so sure!
"I unintentionally let out this loud and piercing HOOT! half way between a scream and a train whistle, and then found myself laughing uproariously at the sting of Cupid’s bazooka." -- I always knew there was something fishy about Cupid.....and baby-angel with a bow and arrow? That's not a recipe for disaster....
Ahahah! That's hilarious, Troy. I'm amazed the sale still went through. I guess the deals were just too good. Having been at parties, or concerts, and just being transfixed by some guy - like wow, where the hell does he come from! - and not having the guts to go talk to him, I completely understand.
Great story!
Hahaha “hoot!” What a thing to say!!! Twice!
I love this so much.
Bwahahaha! And hoooooottt! Thanks for the laugh, my friend.
I sooo enjoyed this story, Troy! You really know how to take us right into the scene. "his face a study in bafflement, hers a mask of seething rage" love this turning point.
You must have a ton of material from this part of your life!!
Hahaha, oh Troy this was great. Laughed so much. So much vivid description I was there.
"She was French, I remember, tiny, nothing special, bespectacled, official helmet bob of assistant librarians everywhere." Great line.
Amazing story, thanks for sharing!
This. Is. Hilarious. Thank you, thank you. I so needed this and the only thing that would have made it better was if you were telling me in person over non-alcoholic cocktails. The potential mini-stroke..?! Her murderous rage?! 🤣 I’d hand over all my limbs to have been in that showroom, though I kind of feel like I was. You are brilliant, Troy. Thank you for sharing yourself 💜
A beautifully told story, Troy.
Somehow, I got distracted by this line: "Many of the upholstered pieces were ruined, and for legal reasons, we could no longer sell pieces off the floor as “new” even though most of the casegoods—wood and metal cabinets, tables, etc.—dried out and suffered no apparent damage." I guess the thought that burrowed into my mind was how this suggests how lawyers have a grip on every aspect of our lives. They even get to define what's new and what's not.
My heartbeat got all fluttery reading this! Oh man those retail crushes can be intense. I’ve had a few and I both dreaded and lived for them. But never was a partner nearby to threaten with murder. If a mousy French woman ever shows up to your door unannounced, don’t open it!
Oh Troy, this was such a great tale! You really helped me laugh off the workweek and start the weekend right!
Quittin time at the cannery!! Thanks for the afternoon chuckles!
It’s the thread stealing that’s got me. And all those poor assistant librarians.
I remember the first time a gay guy came on to me. (I was in a gay club back in the 80's so it was to be expected.) He just wouldn't leave me alone. It's not like he didn't know I was straight. I went with friends who told me they were taking me to the club, thinking they could get a reaction out of me. I said, whatever. But the guy was obviously fixated on me, and the only way I could get rid of him was to dance with him. So I did...and met a guy on the dance floor that I'd gone to school with. He said: I always suspected you might be one of us. I thought: What? Is everyone's gaydar broken? It was a great night!
Priceless -- "I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so close to being murdered in my life."...I wouldn't be so sure!
"I unintentionally let out this loud and piercing HOOT! half way between a scream and a train whistle, and then found myself laughing uproariously at the sting of Cupid’s bazooka." -- I always knew there was something fishy about Cupid.....and baby-angel with a bow and arrow? That's not a recipe for disaster....
Ahahah! That's hilarious, Troy. I'm amazed the sale still went through. I guess the deals were just too good. Having been at parties, or concerts, and just being transfixed by some guy - like wow, where the hell does he come from! - and not having the guts to go talk to him, I completely understand.
"official helmet bob of assistant librarians everywhere" i can't breathe