WHEREIN I Get Real With My Readers

Because I really should say something, anything…

You know…that feeling you get…when you’re excited about a new something, and you want it to be everything and more, the answer to so much hand wringing and knots of anxiety about your work, about progress, making a difference, hitting your stride, finding your niche, fulfilling your potential, blah blah blah? 

Well I’ve totally got that feeling about Substack.

I’ve read some amazing stories. (Are they “just” stories we can’t help but wonder whilst also doing our part by committing to perfect practices and ironclad insights?) People are gushing about Substack, and it really does look like a social media platform that gets us, gets our need for a little help sometimes, sending up flares for communité, support, encouragement, feedback, acknowledgement, maybe even a tiny income (Shhh! Dahling! Shh!)—all that good stuff you don’t often get when you’re just starting out and haven’t published much.

Just setting up this Substack, though, is eating up so much time and energy and brain power—not that they don’t make it a perfectly delightful experience, but there’s a learning curve, right? Becoming a writer has been nothing but a massive, dizzying, straight up past the atmosphere and right on out into space learning curve—

characterPOVplotFICHTEANCURVEsavethecatSETTINGandSCENEcausalityTENSIONthemeVOICEwritersblockKEEPONSWIMMINGfuckingSHOWDON’TfuckingTELLkillyourdarlingsWANTSandNEEDSmotivationROUGHDRAFTrewriteFIRSTandLASTLINESqueryingPITCHthreeWAYSfuckingCOMPSbiosAGENTSeditorsPUBLISHERSbig5INDIEselfHYBRIDvanityWRITINGGROUPclassesCONTESTScritiquesCONSTRUCTIVErejectionREJECTIONrejectionSIXFIGUREDEBUTsubmissionsGENREcommercialLITERARYupmarketAUTHORPLATFORMwebsiteBLOGsocialmediaPODCASTmarketingSEO

Mind you, this is just three years in, and I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered any single one of this cacophony of Roles & Responsibilities for the longest, craziest job interview ever—and I still don’t even have an agent or a published book. Yet. 

(Why the hell do I keep picking careers that require so many hats and costume changes? I thought “Interior Designer” was bad. Perhaps the only thing left to top “Writer”—for sheer mad reinvention and probability of failure—would be “Actor/Director.” “Mother” maybe—except for the failure part. And the penis.)

Anyway, my point was supposed to be that I AM super excited to get our little party started, and also, beside myself over missing WIP writing goals this week as I’ve been fiddling with logos, banners, styles/themes, subscriber imports, welcome messages, abouts, lead magnets, followbacks, etc., but sometimes you just have to go where your attention is dragging you, and right now, this week, for me, that is the PROMISE (in the hopes not the guarantees sense) that Substack is going to be what my last newsletter platform decidedly was not: Everything. And more. No pressure.

Look, we’re not even calling them newsletters or blogs anymore: They’re SUBSTACKS! 

To the stars, Comrades! ⭐.o

---

p.s. While you’re thinking about it: Pledging. 

It’s not paying. Basically, it’s saying “Hey, you’re cute—I can imagine taking you out for a venti sugar-free vanilla latte once a month in exchange for the amusing interlude you provide with your ridiculous claptrap.” It’s like getting engaged for a comfortably unspecified wedding date, something you can always call off if things get weird (and they will.)  If you should someday, somehow imagine yourself feeling that way toward me, consider Pledging so I have a sense of whether I might ever be able to have Paid features—like a serialized novel, who knows? Stranger things… 

VVilliam my spokescat has also asked me to say that he especially would be grateful for the gesture, as he is forever having to remind me that his services are cheap but not free, and contrary to popular belief, stinky old bags of fish heads don’t grow on trees.

You can read more here. Cheers!